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My Best Friends Are Gone.I can't believe this has happened. He has died. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. Both of my guniea pigs are gone. They are my best friends. They saved my life. I don't know what to do. I'm on my own now. I've been left behind. I'm so cold. He's so cold. I really really really hope they're both in heaven. I hope there is a heaven. I hope they are happy. I hope I'll see them again. He died at about 10:35am today, the 19th of December 2011. I had him in a towel on my bed and I was holding his foot and he was holding back onto me while I told him I loved him when he went. Of all the ways to go that was the best, I think. One of my sister's hamsters died about a week or two ago as well. I love and miss them both so much. I hate this pain.
Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A Mass Questions!What do you love? I love my sister and my animals. They saved my life without even trying. What do you fear? I fear people and spiders. Just finished watching Life in a Day (well part of it; I missed the beginning) and I took those questions from that. I'm in a question answering mood so I'll continue with Pocket Morning Q&A. Question: What's something you always do before going to sleep? Answer: I don't think there really is anything apart from the usual things (brushing my teeth, making sure the animals have food and water, getting changed etc.). I check my email and, if I need to, I set an alarm for the next day. Question: If you were to make an original sandwich, what would you put in it? Answer: My goodness I have no clue! My dad said that he used to experiment with food and put really random things together (I think one of them was apple slices and melted cheese), and my sister has put random things in sandwiches before (jam and crisps), but I don't really do that so I'm not sure. One of the original answers was honey and I can't seem to get that out of my head even though I really don't have a sweet tooth. Maybe honey glazed beef, even though I've never eaten that before! ^__^ Question: If you were to meet a bear in the forest, what would you do? Answer: I'd freeze in place! And then try to edge away. I have no idea what to do if you meet a bear! Question: If you were a zoo caretaker, what animal would you want to be in charge of? Answer: I don't really have an all time favourite animal so I'd want to take care of all of them! ^_^ Maybe I could be the zoo manager. >_< (Although tbh I'm not very fond of zoos in the first place.) Question: If you could go to a world that was full of ○○, what would it be? Answer: A world full of magical powers, or a world with a lot less people. (After posting this I realised that I'd already answered this question in the previous post! ^___^;;) Question: You just scored a super-goal in a football (soccer) game. How would you celebrate? Answer: Run around screaming and shouting, and jump up and down. Question: What is the country you want to visit most? Answer: Hmm..Greenland would be really interesting, but visiting a place like that I would hate to get there by plane because it's so bad for the environment (I hate travelling by plane anywhere even though I love the feeling of flight). Italy would also be lovely (I'd imagine), and of course Japan. I actually feel quite uncomfortable as a tourist even within another part of the UK, probably as a result of my social anxiety, so going to Japan where I am very obviously a person from another country, would be quite scary, but still an amazing experience I'd love to have. Question: What's a hairstyle you'd like to try once? Answer: I've wanted to try being bald or very very short hair for a while now even though I'm currently trying to grow my hair. Shaving the side of the head would be a good middle ground but it's so difficult to tell if either of them would suit me, and they're so drastic that I'd probably never try them. Thinking about it sensibly, I highly doubt that either of them suit me. ^_^; Ok that's enough questions for one day. Feel free to answer some or all of these questions yourself in the comments (no one ever does T__T). Back to trying to overcome my writer's block. >.<
I Miss My Sister + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!Well she's gone. My sister moved into her dorm today for a university that's 3 and 3/4 hours away. T_________T We haven't been apart for anything over a week before so I'm feeling very lonely right now. I'm not completely alone though. She's left me with all of her animals to take care of. That's 5 animals all together. We're also going to talk on Skype pretty frequently so it's not all bad. I also dropped a piece of wood on my toe today and a bruise has developed and it still hurts. V___V So all in all not a very happy day today. ----------- Question: If you could go to a world that was full of _____, what would it be? Answer: A world full of my sister!! ^__^ Haha! That would be so fun! I wouldn't have to wait for her to unglue herself from Facebook to talk to her coz there would be millions of her running around! XD
Anime!Well I've just finished watching Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica. I really liked it. The animation is interesting to look at, the characters were well defined, the action was good, and there was very little romance (I hate harems and romance in general is very cliched in anime so I get sick of it easily). The ending made me sad though because !!SPOILER!! Homura tried so hard to make Madoka happy but she never got to stay with her. At least she kept her memories of her though. After finishing the last episode I went on yes-butno and saw this.  I think this definitely applies to me. I like Japan, yes, but I don't want to be Japanese because I'm perfectly happy being British and I'm happy coming from the British culture. There are certain things I love about Japanese culture, certain things I love about British culture, certain things I dislike about Japanese culture, and certain things I dislike about British culture, but I have no desire to become Japanese. I like anime (I actually don't like manga very much at all, just to let you know), yes, but I'm not super obsessed with it. I don't like cosplay, although I do understand why some people do and can appreciate the effort that goes into it, I don't collect figurines or any extra material for an anime (I only have one anime on DVD, Toradora, but that's only because someone gave it to me), and I don't know anything about anime studios or specific animators, I couldn't name any of them (apart from Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki, but I don't know very much about Miyazaki and my interest in Studio Ghibli is more closely related to my interest in film rather than anime so I know more about their films than their inner workings i.e. what animators work for them). I have no clue who made my favourite animes because I care more about the plot of an anime rather than behind-the-scenes stuff. Sometimes I check out what a studio has done if I liked one of their animes to see if they have anything else that might interest me, but I usually forget the studio's name pretty quickly afterwards >__<;;. I like anime because it's a unique way of telling a story combined with my interest in Japan. I get to watch interesting stories unfold and sometimes learn a bit more about Japan's culture.
Two Guinea Pigs & Summer Plans + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!On my page here at EP the first experience on my list is 'I Have Two Guinea Pigs'. You may or may not know but one of them died a while ago. I did write a blog post about it around the time it happened and it still makes me very sad. However I will not remove that experience even though I currently only have one guinea pig to look after because I do still have two guinea pigs; one is alive and one is dead but I do have two. I just wanted to clarify that in case anyone gets confused or is just curious. --------------------- On another note that is slightly more cheerier, I'm one essay away from finishing the first course in my degree! ^_________^ Yippeeeeee! I'll have the summer off before the next one starts, but I'm not going to be sitting around on my laurels. I'm going to make the most of this time and write like crazy! >_< My goal is to write at the very least one novel. Recently I've had loads of ideas for stories and been itching to write but I'm saving it up until I'm done with my course so there's no chance it will interfere with it and I can completely focus on what I'm writing. I can't wait! ^-^ ----------------- On another sadder note, I've been ill recently and I don't know why. I've been having tummy aches and been hungry but not wanting to eat (which is really difficult to describe to someone so I'm not even going to try) and I get really hot, but that one happens all the time because the slightest increase in temperature causes my body thinks it's on fire! ^_^; Anyway let's distract myself from this annoying development with a Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A! Question: Suddenly, in a quiet atmosphere in front of many people, your stomach starts making sounds. What would you do? Answer: What an apt question for what I just said. Well, if someone noticed I would laugh and apologise, otherwise I would ignore it, afterall I can't help it if my tummy decides to say hello! ^_~
Complaining + 4 Pocket Morning Weekly Q&As!Argh! >.< My mother is so irritating. I've just come back from a street party for the royal wedding. While I was there I saw some people I hadn't seen since school. We chatted (albeit a bit awkwardly) and then went on our separate ways. Later they came up to us again but this time were mainly talking to my mum. They mentioned that another person I used to know is across the road and invited us to go over with them and see her. I didn't want to so I politely said no. My mother however had other ideas and for the remainder of our time there she kept trying to get me over there. It ruined the whole mood. I was expecting a boring afternoon out and my mum turned it into an annoying one with her constant nagging and complaining. I stopped talking to people from school for a reason. I am MUCH MUCH happier without friends than with them. This is obviously something that is very difficult for people to understand. Everyone apart from my sister thinks that it's something I'll get over and that it'll be good for me to make some mates. How many times do I have to say "I don't want any friends" before it sticks? Do people think I'm lying? Do people think I'm just fooling myself? I have social anxiety, yes, but social anxiety or not I still don't want friends. Why would I need friends? What do people get out of friendships? I have never felt the need to make friends and to be honest I don't see myself ever wanting to have them. If I do change my mind, for some reason, then I'll try and make some, but I definitely don't want any right now. To cheer myself up let's do some pocket morning weekly Q&As. Question: In your opinion, how old do you look to others? Answer: I always think I look younger than my actual age but whenever I've asked people (people who know how old I am) how old they think I look they don't really say younger or older so I guess I look my age! ^_^ Question: If you could go for a drive alone, where would you go? (Assuming you have a drivers license, of course) Answer: I wouldn't go anywhere in particular I'd just drive through random little country roads. Question: What makes you feel relaxed? Answer: Looking at my guinea pig! ^_^ Question: I'm spending too much money for no reason, and I hardly save any. Please teach me your super-secret saving methods! Answer: I'm someone who doesn't like to spend money even if it's not mine (maybe especially if it's not mine? ^_^;) so I don't really know. Maybe try putting it in a bank account or just a piggy bank because that'll make it more effort to get out...? Plus a bank account will earn you more money! ^__^
Social Anxiety + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!This blog has been marked as containing adult content. Your current adult settings prevent you from seeing it. Please go to your account settings page and change your settings to allow adult content to view this blog
A Dream + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!Last night I had a dream. Not very unusual except the one part that I can remember. My sister and I were standing next to each other and in front of me was a mirror, but it wasn't a mirror. "In" it I could see what I looked like from behind, but it was in front of me so it wasn't me I was looking at but someone who looked just like me. My sister was talking about it like it was a mirror, but I knew it wasn't. It was my twin. This is the first time I've dreamt about my twin. I hope I dream about her again. -------------------- Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A Question: How do you act when you start getting sleepy? Answer: I go really crazy when I'm over tired, like I've been drinking or something, but when I'm just tired I'm really impatient and whiny.
A Life & Animal Update! + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!So it's happened. It's finally happened. I've moved out! And so has my sister. We now live together in a house. Yay! ^__^ I still want to live on my own though and I still need another job so I'm trying to view this as a temporary thing although I do love living with my sister. ^_~ We also have more animals, much to my surprise and slight annoyance. We now have 3 guinea pigs and 2 hamsters! Now don't get me wrong I love animals a lot, but after one of my guinea pigs died I had a really rough time dealing with it (I actually stopped talking for a while) and eventually came to the conclusion that after my other guinea pig dies I don't want any more guinea pigs, at least not for a while. But a few months after that my sister tells me that, along with her boyfriend, she's got two baby guinea pigs. She said they were going to stay at her boyfriend's house so I didn't have a problem with it at all. However after some time her boyfriend got really tired taking care of them (tired as in sleepy not tired as in annoyed) and they were talking about them coming to live with us, which I told her I wasn't very comfortable with but as long as I didn't have to take care of them I could accept it. They took ages to decide but then one day BOOM! There they were. Two baby guinea pigs living in a cage that was far too small for one guinea pig let alone two. To cut a long story short they are now living in my guinea pigs' cage whilst my guinea pig is temporarily living in their old cage until I get my wardrobe and can move things around. As for the hamsters, I have no idea where they came from; they too just appeared one day. They're male and female so they live in separate cages; one in my room and the other in my sister's. Speaking of animals I have to go and clean out my guinea pig's cage now, but before I go how about a pocket morning weekly Q&A! Question: Imagine there was a tin can phone you could use to talk to Martians. What would you say to them? Answer: Hello! I come in peace. ^__^; What's it like on Mars? How did you learn English?
I Lost HimIn the early hours yesterday morning one of my guinea pigs died. I was going to take him to the vet as soon as possible that same day because I'd noticed something not quite right with him, but it was too late. I found him at 6:30 am and the last time I saw him alive was 2:00 am, so some time in between was when he went. I'm going to miss him so much. I've been crying all day. My guinea pigs helped save my life. Without them I would still be stuck in the darkness of depression, contemplating suicide every day. They helped pull me out of it. I still have my other guinea pig and being with him helps a lot, but I feel so guilty and disappointed with myself because I didn't take him to the vet sooner. He saved my life but I couldn't save his. I have him wrapped up in a towel right now. I don't want to bury him because if I do I'll never be able to stroke him again or hold him again and it will mean that he really has gone. I really have lost him. He looks as if he died in his sleep and I don't think he was in pain, just discomfort. He looks as if he will just wake up at any moment. But he isn't. I keep pleading with him to wake up, just for a few minutes, so I can say goodbye and apologise to him. I can't stand this ache inside me. It's too sad. This is too sad. Please wake up.
K-On!! + Loads of Pocket Morning Weekly Q&As!K-On! is back! I know, I know I'm 10 episodes late with this post, but I'm still excited! I love K-On! I wish my school life had been like that. I would have loved it. I've only watched the first two episodes of K-On!! (notice the double ! because it's season 2 ^_^) but it still seems just as fun and upbeat as the first season so I have zero complaints about it so far. Can't wait to watch the rest of the episodes and get caught up. ----------- Let's answer some questions! Question: You're a cat for one day. What would you do? Answer: I'd run around other people's gardens and jump on top of cars to sunbathe. I'd also lie on my sister's lap and meow at her to get me food or tickle my belly. ^__^;
Question: Is there any situation or thing that makes you think "I'm still a child"?
Question: What event (eg. Christmas, Halloween, etc.) are you looking forward to this year?
My ChoiceI choose to live. I do not have to live. This life is my choice. Nobody else can make this decision for me. It is easier to make for some than for others. Even when I was lost and broken I was unable to just let this life go. I have been unable to find my way. I have been trapped. I surrendered to the unknown dark and let it drag me to the bottom, but I made the choice to live. I came back to the sun. It's gravity. Even if I go back down I will heal again. Because I choose to live.
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[This entry was inspired by the song Gravity by A Perfect Circle.]
Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A & University & Moving Out?!Question: Please let us know your idea of what makes one wake up instantly! Answer: Washing your face with cold water definitely helps and eating something gives you energy to get going. -------------------------------- I wrote stuff yesterday. So that's good. ^__~
My sister has an interview for uni soon and I'm nervous for her. She is rushing around trying to get her portfolio done because she didn't do it earlier (she thought she wouldn't get an interview so she didn't bother doing the portfolio! V_V). She has a lot to do in a very short amount of time! T_T
I've been feeling as if I'm energised and ready to do something but I don't know what it is! I wish I did know what it was so I could get it over and done with or look forward to it. ^__^ Maybe it's just the feeling that I really want to move out and that I feel like I'm ready to do that. That's what's held me back all this time; I didn't feel ready or comfortable enough to live by my own means i.e. supporting myself by myself. But now I think I can handle it and I think it would be good to finally do. Of course this is great on paper but the reality is that I can't afford to do this yet as the job I have now wouldn't be enough (it's a very small job) so the next step is to find a part time job. Easier said than done though, but it'll happen eventually. The other thing I have to think about is the fact that I'm going to be starting a degree in October (with the OU) so I don't know if that would make it impossible for me to move out or not. Oh well if it's meant to happen then it'll happen. ^_^
The Only Person I HateI hate my dad. Nobody believes that statement, but I know it's true. Sometimes I like him, sometimes I don't, but I always hate him. You know, it's the same with love; sometimes you're mad with someone but you still love them, well sometimes I like my dad but I still hate him. That could be a little hard to comprehend for some people. My reasons for hating him are my own and I refuse to put them to public scrutiny here. But that's not to say that my reasons are hidden from him. If he ever asks I will tell him, straight out. However if anyone else asked the most likely response would be refusal to answer, although that does just reinforce their belief that I actually don't hate him, and I know that. This hate belongs to him and to me; it doesn't involve anyone else and so I shall tell nobody else my reason for it. The only thing I will tell others is this; I hate my dad.
Diary & Pins & Needles For A Whole Day & Two Pocket Morning Weekly Q&As!I'm going to keep a diary. My dad said that him and mum used to have some but they burned them on a Bonfire Night! -__-; He regrets it now. He said that I should write in it every day even if it's just one sentence, so I am. ^__^ I won't write it here though. There's too many restrictions on my blog. I want to be able to write freely and not have a single person judging it. -------------------------- I got pins and needles in my left leg for the whole day two days ago! I tried walking around, running around, jumping, sitting, lying down, massaging it, poking it, everything to try and get them to go away but nothing worked!! T__T Then when I went to bed they suddenly went away! ~_~; I'm so confused! ------------------------- Question: What kind of machine do you wish you could have? Answer: I was going to say a time machine but that might be a bit risky. I might change something in the past and completely ruin the future! So I'll change my answer to a teleportation device. So I can go anywhere any time I wanted. ^__^ I could skip the whole annoying airport crap and boring long flight and just teleport my whole family to a different country for our holiday.
Question [Note: not actually a question]: If there is any food that's not really your specialty, but you have confidence in cooking it, please let us know. Answer: I don't do much cooking (I'm a microwave whore!). The last thing I made was bread and I thought it was pretty good. So maybe bread...? Or a fry up! Haha! ^___^
Birthday Details + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!I'm bored...V_V Don't know what to write...My hair is wet because I just had a shower...I could write a birthday wishlist...
THAT'S IT!!!! I never want anything and just end up putting random things on my wishlists. I could put a dog on there but I already know that I won't get one. Money maybe...a new xbox 360 (although it'll probably just break, AGAIN!!!! Damn you straight to hell Microsoft!! *shakes fist*) Let's do a Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A. Question: Being called which of these three would make you the happiest: Pretty, Cute, or Sexy? Answer: Pretty, although it depends on who said it. If it was someone like my sister or a friend then pretty would make me the happiest, but if it was a guy then it would be sexy. ^_~
New Year's Resolutions + 2 Pocket Morning Weekly Q&As + I Don't Want Anything For My Birthday!?My New Year's Resolutions!
That's about it. I'm going to be 20 this year so I want to start growing up. I won't be a teenager any more so I have no excuse to just bum around like I have been doing. ^_~ ------------ Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A Time! Question: Imagine you have to either bungee jump or skydive. Which would you choose? Answer: Tough one as I wouldn't mind doing either. ^_^ I guess skydive because it looks as if you get shaken around a bit when you bungee jump. I'd be scared of hurting my back or something! Question: If you woke up one morning having turned into a cat, what would you do? Answer: I'd run around in a panic wondering what happened and then go and see my sister to try and explain that it was me. If I stayed like that forever I wouldn't mind, I'd probably like it; being able to go where I pleased, not having to work or worry about money, getting free food and water, sleeping when I want... T_T I want to be a cat! -_-; ------------ Ah! I feel like having fun today! What should I do? Nothing interesting is happening so far. I don't have to go to work today because of the snow! I kind of want the Bamboo Fun tablet. I've been playing around with the idea of getting a tablet for years now but thought that after a while I probably wouldn't use it that much. Hmm I don't know. -_- My birthday's coming up soon and I don't know what to ask for. I received almost everything I wanted at Christmas so I have no ideas. I could ask for the tablet but....I still don't know. I might just ask for guinea pig bedding!! ^___^
Nothing More To Say?I try and come back to EP and join in, but I always seem to end up lurking and not commenting or even joining groups and making stories. Maybe I've said all I can say here. I'll keep trying though. I don't want to leave EP.
Double Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!Haven't been on EP in ages!! ^ O ^ To make up for my long absence let's do a double Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!!!!!! Question: If you were to become a teacher, what would you like to teach? Answer: Oh definitely art! I think art teachers have the easiest time out of all the teachers because they just get you to draw or paint or something and leave you to it! And the marking must be pretty easy too because it's art! Anything can be art! ^_~ Okay okay I'm sure there are some hard parts to being an art teacher...hmm...parts that I can't think of right now. ^_^; Question: Is there any cosplay you'd like to try? Answer: I've never been into cosplay...maybe Yui from K-ON!...or Lain from Serial Experiments Lain, I could dress in her bear outfit! ^_^ ---------------------------------- I'm doing good, how are you? That is all.
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Previous Posts  My Best Friends Are Gone., posted December 19th, 2011 Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A Mass Questions!, posted November 3rd, 2011 I Miss My Sister + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted September 10th, 2011 Anime!, posted June 6th, 2011 Yes&No, posted May 25th, 2011, 1 comment Two Guinea Pigs & Summer Plans + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted May 8th, 2011 Complaining + 4 Pocket Morning Weekly Q&As!, posted April 29th, 2011 Social Anxiety + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted February 26th, 2011, 2 comments A Dream + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted February 16th, 2011 A Life & Animal Update! + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted December 21st, 2010, 2 comments I Lost Him, posted July 23rd, 2010 K-On!! + Loads of Pocket Morning Weekly Q&As!, posted June 12th, 2010 My Choice, posted March 11th, 2010 Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A & University & Moving Out?!, posted March 8th, 2010, 2 comments The Only Person I Hate, posted February 26th, 2010 Diary & Pins & Needles For A Whole Day & Two Pocket Morning Weekly Q&As!, posted February 8th, 2010 Birthday Details + Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted January 24th, 2010 New Year's Resolutions + 2 Pocket Morning Weekly Q&As + I Don't Want Anything For My Birthday!?, posted January 12th, 2010 Nothing More To Say?, posted December 20th, 2009, 2 comments Double Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted October 7th, 2009, 1 comment My Dad & Ghosties & Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted August 15th, 2009 THERE'S A GUINEA PIG UP MY SLEEVE!! [Random blog until he moves], posted July 24th, 2009 Blogs & Bunking & 7/7 & Thanks & Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!!!! Whew!, posted July 7th, 2009, 1 comment Finished!, posted June 26th, 2009, 2 comments K-ON!, posted June 26th, 2009, 2 comments Venting!, posted June 21st, 2009, 2 comments ¬_¬, posted June 14th, 2009, 4 comments Anime Personality & Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted June 13th, 2009, 2 comments Garden & Moving & Details!?, posted June 3rd, 2009, 2 comments I'm Back Yet Again & My Future Career?!, posted May 13th, 2009 Virus! I'm Infected!, posted March 17th, 2009 My Xbox 360 Is Dead & Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted March 4th, 2009 Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A & GTA4 & Japanese & Wombtwin!! [That's a lot!], posted February 28th, 2009 An Apology & Games & Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A!, posted February 20th, 2009, 1 comment Random: Letter, Birthday & Watchmen, posted February 7th, 2009, 2 comments Woollen Hat, Woollen Hat, posted February 5th, 2009 Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A, posted February 3rd, 2009 Snow Day!, posted February 2nd, 2009 MASSIVE FAIL!!, posted January 29th, 2009, 2 comments Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A, posted January 27th, 2009 Fast & Furious!!, posted January 26th, 2009 Happy New Year!, posted January 25th, 2009 Awesome!, posted January 22nd, 2009 Hair, posted January 22nd, 2009 Pocket Morning Weekly Q&A, posted January 21st, 2009 ☆☆☆Happy Day☆☆☆, posted January 15th, 2009, 1 comment I'm Happy. Starting...NOW!, posted January 14th, 2009 Back To Pocket Morning Q&A!, posted January 10th, 2009 It's Up To Me, posted January 1st, 2009, 1 comment Not Sure What To Do, posted December 28th, 2008, 2 commentsBlogroll Here are some friends' blogs...
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